So my girlfriend received a "free" "gift" of round trip airfare and two nights hotel accommodation to Orlando. The catch? We had to attend a two hour sales pitch for Great Escapes Travel Club. Same time share pitch, slightly different gig. Since we'll be flying to Orlando in January for her sister's wedding, we figured "Why not?" The terms and conditions are why not. You have to arrive on either a Monday or Tuesday, meaning you have to take a whole week off work. Furthermore, blackout dates are seven days in each direction of holidays, so a January 8th wedding would be out of the question. We also got free accommodations (with similar requirements) at one of a number of hotels, including Pagosa Springs, so we may actually get something worthwhile out of this experience.
Now Tamara has Magical Jew Powers and I have Protection from Sales Pitches +4, so we knew going in that we weren't going to buy. We invented several past vacations in our preliminary discussion with Renaldo -- Britain, New Orleans, Cambodia -- and said we were interested in traveling to places like St. Petersburg (Russia) and Malta. You could tell Renaldo was in the travel industry because he had NFC where Malta was. And since we knew we didn't need to pay attention to the PowerPointless sales pitch, I sat in the back looking like I was taking notes, but in fact did an automatic writing exercise where I would take a few words the presenter said and turn them into a funky sentence.
Mathers matters on material matters. I'd rather lather than bathe Dan Rathers.
A private club with a private spade made Dade love Sade.
Human nature creature feature mixture fixture.
You haven't done it, sun it run it in the street where the beat means meat.
From the post the ghost gets the most.
Dive into airfare where the air dives fairly deep.
Any time for lime for Harry Lyme's crime.
Make money on memberships by sending members on ships.
77 million Baby Boomers watching the Sooners after Lunar Tunes.
Motel666 -- Accommodation of the Beast.
Holiday Inn calls out calls inn between.
If you're there a week, squeak weakly, meekly.
Go to see my mom on mammary day on mammary lane.
I was stuck with my parents paying rents on events under tents.
Highest divorce rate at eight late mate.
Figure out what to wear under there in a lear of fear beer.
There's an anchor -- spank her.
The ones in the Sunday paper creper caper of tapered candles.
Per person in prison of crimson.
Out to sea to see what CCC has in CCs of Commissions.
Member cruise with views of Motley Crüe.
You just saved 2100 dollars on collars of cholera.
Indulge yourself in Melf's elf.
Port charges the heart, tequila charges the stomach.
Celebrities Galaxy, a spiral of glitter pulling on each other.
Eat $100 a day and shit green for a week.
Salmon bake breaks cake.
Do Alaska -- she's frigid.
I'll warm your bones. Take a hard look.
Our recent package ahs been enhanced by Cialis.
Rental car for renal care. There's hare hair, ne'er Nair (bare).
I can see that sea of spree, Ree.
You can go to Maui meowing. Owie.
Round trip air from JFK to the Dallas School Book Repository.
Deluxe accommodations -- a ball of wax. Two bucks to the maxxx.
Four thousand packages on our website. We need to refactor.
Breakfast included for $169. They're ostrich omlettes.
Make your coffee with your wife... if she's into scalding.
How come nobody's using condos? They chafe.
It's the price of ice and rice with lice.
The fountain blew a seal. He jumped in uninvited.
Snacky snaks will munch.
I'll button this up for you real quick. They're all up and down T-Rex. That's my special name for it.
I love towels. THey clean owls' bowels.
Inflexibility is the number one issue why people walk out of time shares instead of cart wheeling.
Weekly rates weakly rate.
Who's been to Cancun of soup? Five days, four nights at the reefer club.
They pull up your screen, screen your clean queen.
I want your summer sausage.
$7000 one-time fee is hardly free, y'see.
We're going to coast to Rica, suave.
We own bear feet and keys to pianos.
There's a new entrance to Disney's world, since he went bi.
If you're working hard and having trouble breaking away, laking always works.
Bajia condos baja del sol.
Rewards trip Kip's slipped lip.
Chimechangas steamy still. Chime in with time's changes.
Mental Soup for the Soul.