tamheals and I are flying to Florida tomorrow (New Year's Eve) for a week for her sister's wedding. I figured some research at the
Transportation Security Administration's web page. Tamara was relieved to learn that she could bring her crochet needles, but I can't bring a screwdriver. Is this sexism, or are they worried that I might unscrew my seat and hit someone over the head with it? Or does a
#2 Phillips disable the protective cockpit door?
But the real winner is on the
holidy travel tips page, I was informed:
Do not pack heavy food items in your checked luggage. Foods such as fruitcake may cause the airport screening machines to alarm, thus slowing down the security process.
We've spent millions of dollars on machines that can't distinguish between fruitcake and explosives. Of course, given some fruitcake, I can see how that might be a challenge. Perhaps we could make a distributed effort,
a la Hot or Not and
Arse or Elbow.
Further down, we learn
Sweaters and sweatshirts may remain on unless they contain a significant amount of metal or their size and bulk could potentially be used to conceal dangerous articles.
I don't think I've ever seen a sweater with a "significant amount" of metal. I've also seen very few sweaters that cannot be used to conceal dangerous articles. Especially if you consider large breasts under tight sweaters as "dangerous."
Finally, and most seriously,
Jokes or statements regarding bombs and/or threats during the screening process are taken very seriously. They may be grounds for both civil and criminal penalties, and could cause you to miss your flight.
One of my fundamental axioms is "If you aren't able to joke about something, you aren't ready to take it seriously." Anyone trying to smuggle a bomb on a plane would not joke about it, for fear of raising suspicion. Banning humor from airports makes massive hubs of human interaction into lifeless passages punctuated by regularly sanitized white courtesy telephones.
She did pack a similar shirt with a lot of zippers but she never wore it on the plane - thank the gods!
'Anybody have suggestions other than "let them do whatever, or don't fly"?
If you mean that you have a problem with TSA, good luck. There are some people already trying to fight some of the airport rules. These things are staying in the court for a long time.
You do have a right to not be searched, but then they have the right to refuse you access (which is generally outlined on your ticket).
My sister - the one getting married - wears shorts, a tank top, and flipflops when she flies, but she is still "randomly" selected for search every single time. (She used to date an Israeli born multi-millionaire in the import-export business.)
This is unacceptable to me. I will most assuredly check the contract indicated when I purchase my ticket, and will correspond with the airline regarding whatever provisions I find unacceptable, which I'm sure is more than most people do. My mother has a PhD in business law and taught me long ago to read everything before I sign it and, if I have objections, to make changes and initial them before signing. This is legal. If the business does not choose to accept the contract as amended, they are free to refuse to take my money.
I don't believe any US licensed business has the right to require clients to forfeit Constitutional rights. At best, that would constitute coersion and still be legally unenforcable.
I wonder what the ACLU is interested in this year. At least I could give them lead time. The only hassle is, if I do have to go to jail (which I don't mind), I'd miss the wedding (which I would mind, very much).
Where it gets sticky is where the government gets involved. The TSA has placed government regulations on airport security, so airlines don't have the freedom to allow armed passengers, for instance. However, in this day and age, all of the airlines and airports are highly cooperative with Department of Homeland Security directives.
The ACLU has been working on issues like racial profiling, harrassment lists, unnecessary searches, inappropriate pat-downs, and so forth. I don't believe they've considered the position that searches are forbidden by the Fourth for the "You're free not to fly, searches are in your contract" reason. You can't find out if you're on the list, and you can't get yourself off. The ACLU is working to fight this.
The TSA keeps two lists of people. One includes people who are not allowed to fly, like Osama Bin Laden. The other is a list of people who are allowed to fly, but receive "special attention." This is where you find the peace activists.
I'm all for fighting security through absurdity, but you'll have to be fairly nuanced about it.
Thanks for the links. I may wind up with a rumpled nose and no crusade to show for it, but at least I can be solid on the whys and wherefores.