Fortunately, this is the exception rather than the rule in The Quad. Thank Zarquon I'm not in Sewall.
I was on duty this lovely Friday night. Earlier in the week, some RAs had tipped me that word in the halls was that there was a party planned for Friday in the lounge. They'd been smart enough to reserve the TV lounge, but Michelle and I were planning to drop by about half an hour after it started, figuring they'd be drinking. It didn't make a whole lot of sense, since they know RAs do rounds in the lounge, but whatever.
So as we finished our first round, we encounter the residents talking with an RA and the CA (office clerk) about whether it was okay to have a stripper.
So Allison, our Hall Director Assistant, Michelle, and I talked with them about some rules for this surprise 21st birthday party. We couldn't find anything in the Guide to Residence Hall living that implied this wouldn't be okay. We made sure that they kept it private (so that the whole building didn't come crowding in), that no alcohol was involved, and that it was clean when they left (though there was a trashcan of wet kleenex afterwards...).
We figured they were getting jipped for $140 for an hour and a half, especially since she didn't seem too hot by the glimpse I got as she walked into the lobby and she didn't even bring her own boom box. They also changed about $20 for singles. But hey, it (was) their money.
Had this not happened in an engineering hall, they probably wouldn't have had the sense to tell anyone before hand, so the RAs would have walked in right in the middle of the party, ruining the moment for most involved.
So as rounds continue, we walk past a room with fairly loud music, but since not loud enough to be documented during non-quiet hours. As we walked out of the building, we heard the girls in that room loudly greet their roommate "Hey, what's up! We've got some Peppermint Schnapps and some Bacardi..." Michelle and I shake our heads and head back in. We knock on their door and are pleasantly greeted by a girl. Names have been changed to protect the stupid and guilty.
Mary: Oh, you probably want us to turn our music down.
Me: Yes... We also heard you yelling out your window that you had alcohol in your room.
Mary: Oh, crap.
Me: So you'll need to pour it out, and we'll have to document you.
Mary: Okay. (Looking back in the room) Sue, we're being busted. You should probably get dressed. Here, I'll stand in the doorway so nobody sees... Okay.
(We collect IDs and information, then enter and spy a partially full bottle of Schnapps.)
Me: You'll need to pour this out and give us the bottle.
Mary: But this is expensive stuff!
Me: You still need to pour it out, that's the rule.
Mary: Anne, finish showering. We need to pour the alcohol out.
(It is poured out.)
Sue: Here, take this so I don't lick the bottle.
Me: We also need to confiscate your empty alcohol bottles.
Sue: What? But I brought those from home! Can't I just take them home tomorrow?
Michelle: No. You might be able to get them back after your meeting with Kevin (the hall director).
(We collect the bottles in a large box, which they politely offer. They've been drinking some expensive stuff. They also have covered their ceiling with Absolut ads in the shape of an Absolut bottle.)
Anne: Do you like my screensaver?
Me: That's more of a desktop.
Anne: Yeah. It's a body builder. Except repeated like 14 times. It's like soft porn I can masturbate to.
Me: Do you have any more alcohol in here?
Me: Mind if I check your fridge?
Anne: Go ahead, there's just juice and fruit and bagels. Would you like something to eat? I could make you a bagel.
Me: No thanks.
Anne: Or some hot chocolate? See, I'm making some hot chocolate.
Michelle and me: No, thanks.
Anne: Augh! This sucks! You're probably going to take our Christmas tree away, too.
(I turn around and notice, for the first time, a Christmas tree.)
Me: Is this real?
Sue: No, it's totally fake.
Me: (Feeling the needles) It feels pretty real.
Sue: Augh! We can't have that?
Me: No. Have you had your end of semester floor meeting yet?
Me: At that meeting you'll talk about decorations that you aren't allowed to have.
Mary: So we didn't know.
Me: It's still not okay. We'll need to take the tree.
Sue: You're taking our Christmas spirit!
Me: I applaud your spirit, you just can't have a real tree.
Mary: Can't we just take Timmy away ourselves and replace him with a fake Timmy?
Me: You can get a fake Timmy, we need to take this one.
Sue: And the decorations we made, because we're poor and can't buy them?
Mary: (Removing decorations from the tree) Do you know how late I was up making these popcorn strings last night? 2:30!
Me: They, uh, look very nice.
Anne: Augh! My boob fell out of my towel. This is how out of it I am! My boob fell out of my towel and I'm walking around without putting it back in.
(We thank the girls for being cooperative and depart, box of booze bottles and evergreen branch in hand.)
One of the girls, loudly as we exit the building, on the phone: Guess what happened? We got busted! Yeah, it sucks.
Exasperated (Michelle missed her Christmas movie) and lauging at the less than intelligent. We place the contraband in the office shaking our heads. We walk out to do the last building of the round and hear fire trucks. On our return around the buildings, a couple girls ask us if we know what's going on... there's "like two firetrucks and four police cars outside one of the buildings." Turns out there was a fire in another building, but it was "all okay."
Hoping not to encounter anything exciting, we began our final round at midnight. As we're walking up the stairs in the building of the alcohol encounter, I spy a girl holding a bottle of booze. In the middle of the hall. Just chatting with some folks. In plain view. Hello? Is once not enough to get the message? As luck would have it, it was Anne. I come up beside her and ask if that's alcohol she's holding. She puts it behind her back, right where Michelle can see it, and she said no, half jokingly. I told her she needed to pour it out. After whimpering a bit, she trudged up the stairs, yelling to her roommate that she just got busted again. Michelle reminded her that it was quiet hours and not to yell in the hall.
As we walk past that building again after finishing rounds, we hear Anne loudly announce on the phone "Guess what? I got busted again!"
A perfect closing for the night.