I've felt down or blue a lot in the past few days. At first, it was probably from eating milk chocolate fun size candy bars, but there was also a fair bit of self--doubt and existential moroseness. Thinking it through, I figured I'd internalized my perceived outside chance at getting hired by Google
. Consciously, I knew my good answers were more frequent than even hits by guys in the World Series
, but I had lots of time to think through all the little mistakes I made and things I said that, when written down without the full context of the moment, sound pretty dumb. I even had a dream in which I got a call with my recruiter and I asked for a list of reasons my points got docked.
So fully expecting I wouldn't get hired, but knowing that it wasn't a certain fate, I answered the phone this morning. I was
elated to hear that the hiring committee was impressed and thinks I should be Google's next employee. As Neo said... Whoa.
There's still some paperwork and reference checking (but no pointer arithmetic) to do, so it'll be a week and change before I get an official offer, but I have now officially reached the easy part.
I could ask to be part of the Mountain View office, but I think it will be easier to start in Boulder with a closer group and a more familiar environment. If I decide later that California is the place to be, I can ask for a transfer. I'm sure I'll have a few chances to visit the fabled Googleplex in person regardless.
In summary: Yayberries!
I think the self-doubt I had is tied to doing consistently A minus work. My GPA was 3.8. My SAT and PSAT scores were high, but not high enough to qualify for merit scholarships or (probably) to get into top technical schools. A lot of code I've written has been good, but far from perfect. I spend time doing well-rounded things rather than being driven to near-perfection on a narrow band. While I'm generally happy, there's often a nagging sense that I could
be top caliber, but I'm not quite
. But since I'm clearly well above average, I'm not satisfied doing solid B work or being the big fish in a small pond. So the call I got this morning is a vote of confidence that I can be a growing fish in a big pond of excellence.